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[UNOFFICIAL] Tell us your storyFollow

#1 Nov 29 2010 at 8:31 PM Rating: Excellent
15 posts
There was an official contest running on the boards to win a VIP key. THIS IS NOT THAT THREAD!!! I noticed that thread a little too late to contribute, but I think it still sounds like fun. I was hoping a few other members did too, so I'd like to start the unofficial tell us your story thread.

And to start things off, unofficially, here is my story:

I wasn’t one of the heroes that died bravely in battle. In fact, I wouldn’t call myself a hero at all. More like a champion of delinquents. I spent most of my time in the taverns, chatting up people here, patting down people there, hoping for a few good laughs and a bunch of good drinks. And as things generally turn out, something horrible happened and a local was in need of a “savior!” Well, after striking out with everyone at the bar, including a couple of goats, I decided I was in my savior mood. (I’m mighty seductive when I’m drunk and have my God complex working for me, and making some coin is always a plus.) So like most nights, I ventured out in search of the “most wicked beast you’ve ever seen!” thinking to myself it’s probably just a run of the mill wolf or rabid rabbit, no worries.

I normally travel with a couple of companions, one that has a way with herbs and bandages and another that fancies himself as some sort of magician and hypnotizes people into doing his bidding. However, tonight I was in one of my “grumpy” states and they decided to ****** off before I accidentally laid one of my axes to their skulls. Ugh, some people, they just don’t know how to have fun! Their loss tonight. This farmer seems pretty unraveled and looks to be of more than modest worth.

So I was out in the woods, looking for the bunny that was frightening the farmer’s cows when I got the uncanny feeling that I was being watched. I slowed my pace, evened my breathing, and listened to the sounds of the night. And heard… nothing. Meh, must be my imagination.

I decided that there wasn’t anything to worry about in the woods. I had set some traps earlier, so I went to check on them. I found a wolf attempting to gnaw off his own paw. “Perfect,” I thought, “I’ll just take this poor fella to the farmer and tell him all his troubles are over, I’ve slain the beast!” I drew my cross bow and popped the wolf right between the eyes. I hog tied him and strapped him to my back.
I returned to the tavern victorious. The farmer was incredibly grateful. I collected my coin and was offered shelter for the evening in the farmer’s barn. But first, a few more ales! I tried my charming ways again, and to the same result… nadda. So I bid my farewell and went to the farmer’s barn.

Well, long story short, apparently there was some hideous beast, and without my two numbskull buddies, I didn’t have a shot. So here I am. Dead as a door nail.

Wait? You’re saying I can return?! **** yes! Yeah, sure, I fought the Planes… all the time. No worries.

- Cheesy Goodness
Member of Karma's Reprisal

(o'.')-o CHEESY PUNCH!!!
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